Living in a world without Windows (or Videoredo)

I hate modern laptops, they're not a real computers they don't have video ports or optical drives or anything else, they're just tablets plus a keyboard. But I do want something I can take to my parents.
I'm not too fond of mine. It's a low end HP. 2 standard USB, one new USB and HDMI. No optical drive, no lan port and only just adequate memory. Not forgetting a small SSD. Going to be a bugger getting into the laptop to replace the battery and SSD. At current prices I expect they'd cost more than the laptop did.
 
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