Amusing Items

". (Snipped the answer to preserve the secret)
Shame! I was hoping it was a term of abuse. :p
For some reason I've just been led to this old thread, where it is stated that "if earth and all its inhabitants were squashed down until as dense as a black hole, it would fit onto a teaspoon"
But surely, it would also fit onto anything larger, such as a soup spoon, or a tablespoon, or a shovel, or a plate, or into an eggcup, or, or.... into my mug of coffee here... Therefore this option is correct at (virtually) all times
 
For some reason I've just been led to this old thread, where it is stated that "if earth and all its inhabitants were squashed down until as dense as a black hole, it would fit onto a teaspoon"
But surely, it would also fit onto anything larger, such as a soup spoon, or a tablespoon, or a shovel, or a plate, or into an eggcup, or, or.... into my mug of coffee here... Therefore this option is correct at (virtually) all times
All infinitely improbable. :lol:
 
It's a malapropism. We have several in my family, they get received and adopted down the generations, and in our case "nasturtiums" got mutated to "nastutialums" I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of these came from wartime radio broadcasts from the likes of the Crazy Gang or Arthur Askey.
 
Last edited:
Could be. Aspersions -> nasturtiums sounds a bit too highbrow for the ITV "comedy" Nearest and Dearest. A programme from my childhood where word mangling was commonplace.
It was repeated a but too often in "Nearest and Dearest", (or possibly the television was on too often when that programme was being broadcast). I think it was supposed to be some sort of running gag.

Apparently it was also used in Dad's army and Red Dwarf. Looking at what is easily available on-line one of the oldest usages was in 22 October 1902's Kent & Sussex Courier.
 
It's a malapropism. We have several in my family, they get received and adopted down the generations, and in our case "nasturtiums" got mutated to "nastutialums" I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of these came from wartime radio broadcasts from the likes of the Crazy Gang or Arthur Askey.
Nasturtiums are sturshings in our family. Many of them come from young children not pronouncing words (or in our family worms) properly. Some of our favourites are stainler steen for stainless steel and poonce for spoon.
 
If Aspersions -> nasturtiums really was in Nearest and Dearest, there's nothing wrong with my memory. I thought it was possible but I haven't watched N&D probably since it was first shown. I've not watched recent repeats. Funny how some things stick in the memory.
 
Aspersions -> nasturtiums sounds a bit too highbrow for the ITV "comedy" Nearest and Dearest. A programme from my childhood where word mangling was commonplace.
Hilda Ogden was another character from that period who frequently used malapropisms (often referring to her muriel IIRC)
It must be Sunday as I was bored enough to look it up....................................

The article also refers to "I resemble that remark" which I'd never heard until starting one particular job where someone used it quite a lot.

I know the word comes from the character of Mrs. Malaprop, I had it in my mind that she was a Shakespeare character but looking it up it was Sheridan's "The Rivals" (1775) (which I've neither seen nor read).

The Wikipedia article on it gives quite a good example of using amphibious for ambidextrous - I must remember that one! (I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous).
 
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous
You mean amphibious!
If you'd seen an interview this morning on Good Morning Britain with a young Australian woman who lost part of an arm and leg to a shark attack you might not find that so amusing. Particularly as she made the decision to give up her left arm, because she is right handed, in a successful bid to fight off the shark.
 
If you'd seen an interview this morning on Good Morning Britain with a young Australian woman who lost part of an arm and leg to a shark attack you might not find that so amusing. Particularly as she made the decision to give up her left arm, because she is right handed, in a successful bid to fight off the shark.
But that in itself is wokery, not being allowed to crack a joke just because someone, somewhere, might find it offensive. You should detach the one from the other – yes no doubt a tragic case, but in no way relevant to casual word play (and that's more word play!).

As Peter Cook said (in the sketch with Dudley Moore as a one-legged man applying for the part of Tarzan): "I have nothing against your right leg, the trouble is neither do you".

I proof-read a brochure recently, and the advertised prices included "travel and all entrances". I wanted to correct that to "admissions", but I was told the word "admissions" sounded too much like hospital admissions, and therefore triggering to the older age group this was pitched at. Whatever next, can't call a tap a tap because it might mean a light blow? We compromised on 'entries".
 
"travel and all entrances". I wanted to correct that to "admissions", but I was told the word "admissions" sounded too much like hospital admissions, and therefore triggering to the older age group this was pitched at.
"Entrances" is ridiculous. "Admissions" isn't much better. "Entrance fees" would be the most appropriate I think. If they can afford the extra four characters...
We compromised on 'entries".
Or "Entry fees" then, and they get three of their four extra characters back. What a bargain. "Entries" is as bad as the previous two.
can't call a tap a tap because it might mean a light blow?
What's the cure for water on the brain?
A tap on the head.
 
Back
Top