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A Personal Tale of Medical Ethics Etc

RobH1 said:
BH, although we found the OPG a bunch of box tickers (at a price!), they were very good regarding giving advice. It's definitely worth a 'phone call first and then compose your case.
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Unfortunately they had nothing to suggest. They seem to be only interested in financial matters and directed me to Social Services for welfare matters.
 
Black Hole said:
They seem to be only interested in financial matters and directed me to Social Services for welfare matters.
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You'd think with a name like Office of the Public Guardian they'd be concerned with all aspects. But if you check their website it does seem as they are only interested in finance. :( I'm sure you've looked at the page - but it does say "Other ways to report a concern - your local adult social services for concerns about care or safeguarding." Good luck with that - I've found adult social services to be useless in this area.
 
I have new information (which should have reached me on 18th December!) that J is indeed back within the remit of Social Services, and I am known to them in her connection so that is my next port of call. I have my own problems to deal with at the moment though (possible abscess).
 
Back to normal (whatever counts as "normal"), 4 hours for anaesthetic to wear off (just for reference) so I can drink a cup of tea (without dribbling*, and feel my nose again).

* Doctor, doctor - will I be able to play the piano? I don't see why not. Great, I never could before!

Don't get me started on nose bleeds, I was plagued with them in my teens until I had the offending blood vessel cauterised. Then I had no trouble until about 5 years ago - the implicated vein had grown back, and even a sneeze could set it off. Took ages to get an ENT appointment, by when the problem had gone away again. There has been another episode since, but currently in remission. I have been prescribed a cream.
 
I had no problems until recently, when I have had a string of nosebleeds. I had one vessel cauterized but now get random bleeds from either nostril. It could be the dexamethasone I have been on.

The other thing is cracked teeth. I broke a chunk off one a week into lockdown1, it is still cracked, but not painful.
 
Current status:

Eventually the MP got me a route into Social Services, who are stonewalling. I've got the Alzheimer's Society behind me now, so the stonewalling can't last long or it will be escalated up the hierarchy to the Court of Protection if necessary - the SS should warn J's brother what might happen if he makes me take it that far.

Basically, I am advised (as was my opinion anyway) J's wellbeing is compromised without contact with me, so should only be prevented if there are substantial reasons - and no reasons have been presented.
 
FINALLY I have a substantive reply to my enquiries.

It seems that J, in whatever state of mind she might be now (including possibly blaming me for the last four months and the situation she is in), has been asked by care home staff and shown the photo she had of us together, and has repeatedly shown a disinclination to see me. I'm sure the staff would like her to have a friend to visit when it becomes possible.

So to hell with it then. They can let me know if the situation changes.
 
Black Hole said:
disinclination
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That's a pretty vague term. Neither one thing or the other. Is that your choice or the correspondent's actual phraseology?

Who knows the truth of this now? She may have been effectively brainwashed over the last four months - or really doesn't want to see you for some other reason, real or imagined.
 
MikeSh said:
Is that your choice or the correspondent's actual phraseology?
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Mine.

MikeSh said:
Who knows the truth of this now? She may have been effectively brainwashed over the last four months - or really doesn't want to see you for some other reason, real or imagined.
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I am inclined to believe them. No doubt the damage was done in the first couple of days, when next-of-kin kept me away.
 
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